مجالس آل محمد (ع)

مرسل: **الأربعاء يونيو 01, 2005 10:52 am**

Woman Dictionary

Yes = No

No = Yes

Maybe = No

I'm sorry = you'll be sorry

We need = I want

It's your decision = My correct decision should be obvious by now

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure go ahead = I don't want you to

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron

You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house

I want new curtains = carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're going to hate

I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV

You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

Are you listening to me!? =Too late, you're dead

مرسل: **الأحد يوليو 31, 2005 3:45 pm**

أخي نادر:

هل تؤيد ما قيل؟

إن كان الجواب نعم، فالله المستعان، وإن كان لا فشكرًا على روح الدعابة.

ولكن، لماذا تكثر الطرائف حول النساء دون الرجال؟

مرسل: **الأحد يوليو 31, 2005 4:32 pm**

أؤيد البعض و أنكر بعضا و النقل (كله) كان لمجرد التسلية
ولا أظن أن الطرائف هي كل ما ينقل عن النساء.
فهناك الكثيييييير عن الحنكة والدهاء
فلا تغضّين الطرف عنها.
أذكر هنا مدرس في الجامعةكتب العبارة التالية وطلب من طالب و طالبة أن يعلم الجملة بعلامات الترقيم المناسبة لكي يظهر المعنى:
A woman without her man is nothing
فوضع الطالب العلامات فأصبحت الجملة:
A woman, without her man, is nothing
وكان ترقيم الطالبة:
A woman, without her, man is nothing
فتأملي!!

مرسل: **الأحد يوليو 31, 2005 5:09 pm**

تأملت يا أخي نادر، ووجدت الحنكة والدهاء! ووجدت اعتزاز الرجل!

ولكن بيت القصيد أن السلبيات المذكورة حول النساء تزيد بمراحل عن إيجابياتها!

خيرة الله، رحم الله امرءًا عرف قدر نفسه!!!

مرسل: **الاثنين أغسطس 01, 2005 9:37 am**

I am sorry; I've just realized that i am writing in the English majlis (in which Arabic is prohibited)
You said that the disadvantages mentioned about women are more than their advantages.
Do you mean in jokes or generally??

Have you heard the proverb : Behind every successful man is a woman

and behind every loser are two :lol: :lol: :lol:

مرسل: **الاثنين أغسطس 01, 2005 2:38 pm**

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Brother Nader, don’t upset ladies!! and remember u cant live with them and u cant live without them!!!!!

مرسل: **الاثنين أغسطس 01, 2005 4:50 pm**

Well, i guess you're the one who upsets ladies by telling that you cant live with them

Anyway, the woman is my mother , my sister, my wife and inshallah my doughter...

مرسل: **الاثنين أغسطس 01, 2005 10:27 pm**

Say what ever you say

But, for sure, we all know the truth

مرسل: **الاثنين أغسطس 01, 2005 11:16 pm**

Salam

What you wrote was interesting, but WRONG...well.....I agree that most ladies are wierd, but believe I was introduced to wierd men too...So they are all they same.......it is just that ladies get cranky and jelouse faster than men.